周末笑话,希望大家开心大笑 😂
在一次抢劫中,银行劫匪大喊:“不要动。钱属于国家。你们的生命属于你们。”
银行里的每个人都安静地躺下了。这被称为“心态转换”。改变传统的思维方式。
当一位女士挑逗地躺在桌子上时,劫匪对她喊道:“请文明一点!这是抢劫,不是强奸!”
这被称为“专注于专业”。只专注于你所受过的训练!
当银行劫匪回家后,年轻的劫匪(未成年的小学徒)对年长的劫匪(只完成了小学六年级)说:“大哥,让我们数一数我们抢了多少钱。”
年长的劫匪反驳道:“你很愚蠢。有这么多钱,我们需要很长时间才能数清。今晚,电视新闻将告诉我们我们从银行抢了多少钱!”
这被称为“经验至上”。如今,经验比纸质资格证书更重要!
银行劫匪离开后,银行经理告诉银行主管赶紧报警。但主管对他说:“等等!我们从银行中拿出1000万美元自己用,并把它加到我们之前从银行侵吞的7000万美元中。”
这被称为“逆境转机”。将不利情况转化为自己的有利情况!
主管说:“如果每个月都有一次抢劫,那就太好了。”这被称为“杀鸡儆猴”。个人幸福比工作更重要。
第二天,电视新闻报道说银行被盗了1亿美元。劫匪数了又数,但只数到2000万美元。劫匪很生气,抱怨说:“我们冒着生命危险只拿到了2000万美元。银行经理只用了一个手指头就拿到了8000万美元。看起来接受教育比当小偷更好!”
这被称为“知识就是力量”。银行经理微笑着很开心,因为他在股市上的损失现在被这次抢劫覆盖了。
这被称为“冒险取胜”。
那么,真正的强盗是谁呢? 😎 😎
𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗗𝗔𝗬 𝗝𝗢𝗞𝗘 - have a good laugh 😂
During a robbery, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you."
Everyone in the bank lay down quietly. This is called the "𝗠𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁”. Changing the conventional way of thinking.
When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!"
This is called "𝗕𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹”. Focus only on what you are trained to do!
When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (𝗠𝗕𝗔-𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗱) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): "Big brother, let's count how much we got."
The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"
This is called "𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications!
After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: "Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.
This is called "𝗦𝘄𝗶𝗺 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗱𝗲.” Converting an unfavourable situation to your advantage!
The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a robbery every month." This is called "𝗞𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗕𝗼𝗿𝗲𝗱𝗼𝗺.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.
The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: "We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!"
This is called "𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗹𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗵 𝗮𝘀 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗮𝘀 𝗴𝗼𝗹𝗱!" The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.
This is called "𝗦𝗲𝗶𝘇𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆.” Daring to take risks!
So who are the real robbers here? 😎 😎 |